in the mood for love…

cheongsam…

i have to admit, i am an addict to this extremely feminine and traditional form of chinese fashion

in fact, for the past few years, shopping for cheongsam during the cny period has become a ritual for me

esp after i have fallen deeply in love with the one kim made for me for my big day

and this year, i have gone way ‘overboard’ by getting 2 brand new ones

i know…

cheongsam is not something that you’ll wear for work

it’s not even something you’ll wear for a night out

and the fact that i hardly wore my collection more than once tells quite a bit

but i just can’t seem to stop myself for laying my hands on those lovely coloured shangtung silk, or lace or nice traditional cotton buttons

browse these webs, and perhaps you just might be able to understand why

www.tongtong.sg

www.dylan.sg

www.mymandarincollar.com

joy of a teacher…

the o’level result was out today

and poor k can finally feel relieved  after an extremely tensed weekend (his school did fairly alright for his subject)

and as he shared with me about the school result… it brought back memories of the day when my dear kids got their psle result…

memories of how it hurts me when i saw my p4 students getting upset over their result despite the amount of effort they’ve put in…

memories of how thrilled i was when my students began to have confidence in themselves and have faith in me…

memories of how happy i was when they embraced me and told their parents that i was their teacher…

interestingly,

i just can’t wait for my short stay in bank to be over and head right back into teaching…

.

Signs

i know.

i have neglected my health for the longest time.

the effects for all the late nights, drinking and puffing away have started to show.

and the lack of exercise has made all these worse.

my body is now screaming for attention by:

making me cough almost non stop for the past 1 month

giving me a throat infection that never seem to fully recover despite of all those horrible medication I’ve taken

gracing me with s fever that comes and goes…

and now.. developing a painful stye on my left eye

i know.

something has to be done, well, immediately

while K is out having a leading a healthy lifestyle by going for a swim

the least I can do is … to stop living in denial and do something about my health. perhaps starting from the drinking and puffing part. now, just where’s the list for my 2010 NY resolution?

missing you

it’s has been only 2 weeks since K left for aussie…

and i was hoping to use this 2 weeks to

catch up with pple that i haven’t seen for age…

do things that i have always wanted to do but in an interesting way just couldn’t find time to…

strangely,

i hardly accomplished any of the above

in fact i found myself at home straight after work most of the time

maybe that’s my way of missing my man.

p.s. the idea of returning to the place where k proposed is giving me the natural ‘high’ … i think i might end up hopping my way to the plane… =)

a space…

is there a space out there where one can be just himself

no question asked on where’s he from, what he does for a living, what’s his status

no moral obligation, no responsibilities, no role, no expectation

where one can talk freely abt his feelings, his dreams, his desires, his loves…

is there?

escape

recently, the thought of escaping has constantly come into my mind…

this is not the first time, and i am rather certain that it isnt going to be the last…

since I graduated, whenever I face the possibility of failing or challenges that I’m fearful of… the first thought that pops into my mind is to, well, turn and run away from it or simply calling it quit.

it happened when I was doing advertising,  it happened this year with teaching (thanks goodness for the 3 years bond) , it happens every single time, I fought with K, and now it’s happening again. 

actually, i don’t exactly hate the job thou i still can’t see myself doing what im supposed to do in 3 months time. nor do I dislike the pple I’m working with. in fact, I adore some of these folks. but i just so absolutely loath the feeling of losing. it irks me so ever frequently that it’s starting to make me lose my sleep, and brings out the uglier side of me.  thou, as a matter of fact, I very much owe my honours to this competitive streak of mine. it has somehow become a tad unbearable for me lately

silly, i know. and the fact that Im getting one step closer to the 30s, i should be mature enough to be less conscious abt others, and focus on my battle, using my competitive streak as a motivation instead of a deterrent, and as mel said, face the darn reality.

easier said than done.

no matter what, im not gonna quit without putting up a good fight. i owe myself that little respect

shop till i drop?

one major advantage of getting a new job is getting the legitimate reason to shop not that i really need one… even my mother in law told me almost immediately it’s time for more shopping (haha she knows that i shop even when there’s no occasion to) when we told her abt the new job.

so the last 2 weeks i’ve been scouting the major malls for appropriate wkwear. to my dismay, the trips have been quite fruitless. just yesterday, I spent 2 hrs combing haji lane and bugis junction without buying a single thing.

oh why oh why can’t they bring in the stylish and affordable h & m and asos from uk. why can’t they have less frilly less satin less chiffon looking tops… why can’t they have simple, classic and comfort tops hanging in their stores.

oh why?

what I really want…

after close to 3 months of resting at home and countless of application emails sent out… I finally got myself a job. 

a job  that I was dying to have when I was just a fresh uni grad… and after so long finally convinced myself that i wasn’t just cut out for it. Yet this is the one that I have the least trouble applying for..applied on mon morning, got invitation for interview in the same aftn, went for interview 2 days later, got shortlisted at the end of it, went thru a test on fri for formality sake, got the offer on 2 days later. got this happened within a week or so. interestingly, i wasn’t as keen as I was before. before i left my previous job, I was all set to step into the civil sector, thinking that I should be able to do well in it. unfortunately, it wasn’t quite like what i’ve imagined. nothing quite excites me whenever I went for the job briefing during the interviews, i kept thinking that this won’t be something that I will like to do for the rest of my life, at least not the next 5 years or so. to the point that I can’t answer pple’s question, what kind of job are you looking for? yes, what exactly am i looking for? it’s scary coz I don’t have the answer to that question myself. and just today, I got another offer for an interview, and I actually started to ponder, have i made the right choice in taking up the previous offer? did i take it up because im sick of staying at home? did i just grab the job as a buoy? i’m left with a week to find out. wish me luck.

service pls

as our friends know, k and I don’t really cook at home. we prefer to have our meals outside, it’s more convenient, more variety and strangely more economical, consider the fact that I normally spent close to 40 bucks each time I cook. so other than the food itself, the service is one of crucial factors that determines whther we will be returning to the same place in the near future. unfortunately, we are often left quite disappointed with the local service.

just today, we went to a chinese restaurant at the nearly opened mall in orchard. i was served with a wobbly plate (if I can call it a plate) of noodles, which wobble everytime I tried to scope the content out. k found this totally unacceptable as this place is brand new.so he got the server to change the plate. poor girl, she didnt seem to understand what k wanted and k has to repeat his request. but this time, with a scary look on his face. even I got a shock from his reaction. bleah.

later at the famous macaroon place, we were again served with a chipped teapot and were made to wait 20 mins for our order thou the place wasnt at all crowded. and as i thought the service was bad enough, i overheard the below conversations.

customer A : table for 2

server: you sit there. * pointing at an empty table 

customer B: any seat inside?

the same server: inside no seat, sit outside

erm… not even a word of apology? oh gosh, it was totally appalling. to think that this is the baby sister of THE famous french restaurant (thou I personally feel that the food was overrated and way over priced but  we totally enjoyed the top notched service there) i guess the singapore service is not up to scratch. maybe it’s the culture, maybe it’s the pathetic pay, maybe singaporeans just have lower expectation or k said, we have simply given up.

return

I have been coming up with million of excuses just to stay away from school for the past 2 days. I know there still are plenty of work left undone, still tons of things that need to be packed, cleared or thrown away. But I just just dread dread the idea of going back, even if noone is around.

it’s precisely such dreary feeling, such negative thoughts, such fears that are totally unaccounted for that prompted me to reconsider my future. is it worth leading a life with such heavy heart and sleepless nights at the end of each and every weekend and holiday? the answer is obvious